Chapter Seven: I Know, I Know.

I realize it's been a while since my last post.  I'm sure it seems pretty anticlimactic to all of my adoring fans, seeing as Chapter Six was full of passion and motivation and 'motherfucking's. 

The thing is, I've decided something, and I wasn't sure how to break it to you.  What I've decided is... I'm not so great at fiction, and I'd rather be writing essays.  Like this guy:

Seriously. If Ron I. Jones storyteller can do it, I can do it, right?

I hope you're not upset with me.  It's just that I've grown, and I've learned some things about myself, and I don't think we're a great match anymore.... me and the novel.  We can still be friends, though!  Like, catching-up-over-frozen-yogurt-once-a-month friends.

Okay, so here's the most awkward part.  I hate to tell you like this, but I wanted you to hear it from me first.  How do I say this?  Here goes:

I've actually already started writing essays... That's why I've been so distant lately.  I'm sorry.  It's not you, it's me.

I think we should see this as a good thing that I'm figuring this out now. Trust me, you wouldn't want to read a novel by me. I barely want to read it, and that's not a great way for an AUTHOR to feel about his/her work, right? 

The theme of the work is still the same.  The essay I'm currently working on begins on the morning of college graduation, when we were all hung over from overindulging in the green tequila slush put out by the industrial-sized margarita machine at my parents' the night before.  (Or was that just me?)

So yeah.  I've moved on to creative nonfiction.  It's much more my style, and the novel was barely-fictionalized nonfiction anyway.  It's better this way.

In other news, I have found someone else on the internet who understands the current quarter-life crisis facing most of us.  In case you don't want to read the whole article, here's the best part:

Every adult I know--or at least the ones who are depressed--continually suffers from something like sticker shock (that is, when you go shopping for something for the first time and are shocked to find it costs way, way more than you thought). Only it's with effort. It's Effort Shock.

We have a vague idea in our head of the "price" of certain accomplishments, how difficult it should be to get a degree, or succeed at a job, or stay in shape, or raise a kid, or build a house. And that vague idea is almost always catastrophically wrong.


Read more: How 'The Karate Kid' Ruined The Modern World | Cracked.com http://www.cracked.com/article_18544_how-the-karate-kid-ruined-modern-world.html#ixzz1oM3j7n91

There's also a rant against movie montages, for those of you who feel so inclined.

Well, there it is.  I'm moving on.  I've even changed the subtitle of the blog, as my diehard fans have surely noticed.  The novel isn't dead, it's just not the primary focus anymore.  Now go ahead and think I'm a quitter.  Whatever.